Post of Motivation :)

I didn’t write for a while, but this is almost end of the year, and I decided to write a motivational post, as a part of “coping with depression campaign” :) When I was in a deep depression, I hated motivational posts, because it seemed to me that nothing like that will ever happen to me. Why bother to read about success of others? 😓 Yes, it happened with these people, but won’t happen to me, because my life seemed to be always dark and sh*tty. Seemed that I had problems with everything in my life and there was no hope to fix them. I couldn’t start to think about positive 😖. I was full of anger and jealousy, for my ex who left me for another girl, because I…
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Just a night talk

Strong alcohol taste. Yes, I am upset by feeling... Day after day, week after week, And even month after month. Funny how life turns. That is not about love, not anymore. But betrayal? Pain of betrayal - that's what I can't bear. That pain is too real. One day person is your everything, Person who you can trust your life to, And next day, this person is just an illusion - Mist, fading in a sunlight. All was a lie, all was in vain... It was my mistake to be weak, But YOU the one who stuck a knife in my back... And I just turned around and said nothing. I just cried, because pain was ripping me apart. I guess... I just didn't expect that. That hurts more than…
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Friend is better than foe. Revelation

I was thinking for a while if I should post it and if it was too much, but without personal examples it would seems too plain, so I decided to publish it anyways. As I said on my front page – I want to share my journey and hopefully help others to heal. I already can say that I healed, mostly, but becoming THE person you want to be is more than just healing. Today I want to talk about connections, friends and foes. My mind might jump from place to place, but I will try to keep it straight. First of all, positive attitude always brings more benefits to you and people around you, unlike the negative one. As a former “queen of negativity”, I know how hard it…
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Cuts

I was thinking about this topic for a long time and I understand that not many will understand me, but let’s try to talk about it anyways. At 17 years old I discovered that you can cut yourself (glass broke in my hand and cut me. People assumed that I did it on purpose, which was not true). With that I discovered that I liked it in some particular way. It helped me to reduce stress. Pain of cuts was taking away my emotional pain and concerns, making me change focus. It also was a good way to express my pain, show how it really IS, not by words, which can lie. Last year counselor told me that hurting yourself might be also an expression of anger, when you can’t…
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Fighting depression

Question #1. Do I really want to die? As one of the things to try, in order to fix myself, I am taking time to isolate myself from outside world, especially from contacts that can disturb my emotional state. I am taking this time to analyse what I am doing and why I am doing this. This is important if I want to fix my world-view and how I feel. I need to come to agreement with myself, and I would recommend to do it to everyone else, who is in a hard life position; if you are not sure that this life worth to go thru. I also recommend to watch following video from youtube, which gave me an idea. My friend sent it to me. He personally was…
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