Blog

Time to change

It is always very hard to start something new. First post about something specific is always very questionable – what should I start with? Will anybody read it? Which words better to use? Can I even use words properly?! I am trying, but I know that I still make mistakes sometimes, because it isn’t my first language, so I am sorry. Hopefully meaning of my words can beat the grammar. Anyways, let’s try to tackle this thing (had to rewrite this 3 times, and yet, it is still not perfect. It still sounds too me too “tough” for what I wanted to say). I’ve written before about ways of fighting depression and now I think I am officially healed from my depression, so I want to share my personal experience…
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Barbed on my heart – 2

Drip, drip – red dots On white surface of the sink. Washing away my pain. Spike after spike From my bleeding flesh I’m pulling it out. Barbed of memories, Deep barbed of believes - One by one – away! Tears of sharp pain, I still have flashbacks at nights. I need to pull it out. My opened wound, This bleeding, hurting meat When it will be over? Waiting, pulling out, slowly, one by one…   
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Barbed on my heart

This is funny, but it is so sad… I am happy with him, And you are happy with her. Shouldn’t it take away all pain? Well maybe it should… But was all our past in vain? All these years I believed, That we meant to be together, Through better and through worse, But I was mistaken… I am not healed, even if I am so close… Our relationships were like barbed, They hurt me so much, But my belief was covering it, without flee Layer after layer, putting it on on my heart and my skin. So it became part of me... Now when mistake was exposed, I have to rewind all these years and believes back. I have to rip off this barbed from my flesh, Layer after layer,…
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You Are Flawed. And So Are Your Heroes.

For the full picture, one person’s opinion might be not enough, so I want to introduce you to Steve, founder of Nerd Fitness, and to his philosophy of life improvement! I am part of Nerd Fitness Academy myself, so I know how hard this guy works and that he knows what he is talking about! Here is one of his great articles about improving your life, taking responsibility and not shaming yourself. Here are few moments that I would like to highlight from the article: When we compare ourselves to the idealized, public facing versions of our heroes – be they a celebrity, a blogger, sports star, or writer – we feel like they’re so special and that we’re incapable of doing what they’ve done. Wrong. Our heroes are just…
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I hurt myself today

We all know this song, I just changed words a little bit, to fit me more...   I cut myself today, So see how much it hurts. I focus on the pain The only thing that's real. The blade sliced my skin, The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything. What have I become, My sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else But I am still here…
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