Nea Kris

Let the pain flow


Post of Motivation :)

I didn’t write for a while, but this is almost end of the year, and I decided to write a motivational post, as a part of “coping with depression campaign” 🙂 When I was in a deep depression, I hated motivational posts, because it seemed to me that nothing like that will ever happen to me. Why bother to read about success of others? 😓 Yes, it happened with these people, but won’t happen to me, because my life seemed to be always dark and sh*tty. Seemed that I had problems with everything in my life and there was no hope to fix them. I couldn’t start to think about positive 😖. I was full of anger and jealousy, for my ex who left me for another girl, because I was too “comfy” for him. I became a “furniture” to use at home. This pain of betrayal… I let it all go. I forgave him and her. Moreover, me and her are friends now. And I am still friends with my ex’s mom. That is how I am changing the world, by bringing more kindness and teaching people that it is possible, so I would advise the same to everyone 😇. In the end I am very happy now. I found an amazing man and we have a great relationship full of love and passion. We are planning to get married and have kids (for real). Everything stabilized at work, I also study, and plan to start writing another blog about food. I feel calm and finally thoughts about future don’t scare me. I like people, I love this life and this positivity makes people around be more positive too. Just remember, even when it seems that there is nothing good – it isn’t true. You program your life, you materialize your thoughts. If every day you repeat that everything is sh*t, then it will stay that way. Learn law of attraction and learn to make wishes (if anyone is interesting, I can write a post about wishes and how to make it right). You will get what you need. Happy New Year to everyone! Let it bring you a miracle, how 2017 brought miracle to me <3   

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We are not free

Funny how this world has set of rules…
Look at us: adults with free will,
And with all those modern tools
We are not free…

You know I miss you,
I know you miss me.
We want reconnection,
We want just BE…

But we can’t… she would be jealous,
He wouldn’t understand.
We are family, just fellas,
But it seems too weird to them what I meant.

Society does not approve.
Trust is weak too.
We are two adults, with free will,
And yet, can’t even say “hi, how are you?”…


Black Magic

Almost black, this blood,
Out of my veins,
Like a souse on my heart,
Like a drizzle on the table.

They say it is a witchcraft,
They say it is a dark magic,
But I don’t care, yes, I care not!
Because their lips will be silenced forever…

This life on the table,
Still beating, don’t ask how,
This heart is poisoned,
But all poison can be a cure.

Laugh while you can,
My pain now becoming real,
Now my pain has power,
Now my pain will be released.

Almost black, this blood,
Out of my veins,
Like a souse on my heart,
Like a drizzle over your cold skin…

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Alice in “Wonderland”

Alice in Wonderland….
She is sitting on her bed,
Her gaze full of sadness.
This blue cover, this soft bed –
It all was for their little “nest”,
For him and for her, only.
He left though and nest was empty.
Since then how many men intruded this sanctuary?
Sanctuary of broken love, of broken hopes?
We all go a little mad sometimes… life does too.
The cat laughs quietly in the corner.

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Taking away Manhood

Today I’ve heard on a radio, that nowadays it is a turn off for women when guy offers to pay for a dinner on a first date… I have to admit that it perturbed me a lot. Women teach men to be irresponsible by doing so. That is where we lead our society. But why? Is it a really good tendency to drop your kid in a kindergarten after a month, since child was born and go back to work? Yes, many women love their jobs (it is a big topic, for another post), but you can’t be a greatest mother and a successful careerist. You have to pick one. I am talking about people who wants a classic family and raise their children themselves and not put this duty on nannies or kindergartens.

According to what I’ve heard, one of the reason for this “don’t pay for me” was to avoid problem, where man offers to “pay back” for the dinner, inviting to his place. Women have to be able to say “no”, it shouldn’t be a problem! They should not just to run away from a problem, letting men think that it is alright to really expect to have sex on a first date for just a cup of coffee. Again, I am talking about dates for the serious relationships in mind. I don’t understand why women hate to be women so much. Since when it is bad to be a center of the family? Since when it is bad to motivate your man to reach greatness, as his nature is? By doing everything for men, we just show them that we don’t need them, so they don’t see any point of being a man. They don’t see a point to work hard, to provide for the family, to take responsibility! Men wants to feel needed, to feel strong…to feel to be a hero, after all, when they can reach any goal. Don’t try to take away manhood from the men. Nowadays it is so common, that sadly, many men forgot this sweet taste of win, of achievement, of pride. They like to lay down on a couch and play video games, while their woman doing everything on her own: work, cook, clean, raise kids. We take away responsibilities, we take away manliness from men and in the end, complain that so many jerks are around (not all, of course. There are still many great men out there, and I wish to grow number of them, to make them happy, as well as their women). But we teach men to be jerks and that they don’t have to respect women to get what they want.

I understand that this is a huge topic and it has different sites, but this is just very sad, that women are becoming men, and as result, men are becoming women. Why? We are different, we should not hate who we are. Women are kind, beautiful, emotional and that is alright. Times of “no rights for women” has passed, we should stop proving that we can do everything. We can! It is proven! Now it is time to embrace nature of each gender and enjoy it. Females and males have different hormones, which makes our brains work differently, so yes, we are different. It isn’t shameful to be a woman, who asks for respect, who asks for a safety in the family, and who always supports her husband. This support is not reached by pushing own achievements and money (as you are business partner), but by motivation and harmony at home, where your whole family can smile and enjoy evening, instead of arguing who did more today, and who has a bigger, you know what.

I don’t ask to take this view as the only right, but as I said before, if you are not happy in your relations, or relations don’t even develop, then maybe it is time to look at them differently? I am saying it after taken a big course of relations between men and women. Sorry for repeating myself, but I just want to make point that this course helped many families and it isn’t just a random opinion. This can be a hot topic, but I don’t want to argue with anybody, but sometimes I look around and feel that something is getting missing in our society. Doesn’t anyone relate?