Nea Kris

Let the pain flow

Friend is better than foe. Revelation

2 Comments

I was thinking for a while if I should post it and if it was too much, but without personal examples it would seems too plain, so I decided to publish it anyways.
As I said on my front page – I want to share my journey and hopefully help others to heal. I already can say that I healed, mostly, but becoming THE person you want to be is more than just healing. Today I want to talk about connections, friends and foes. My mind might jump from place to place, but I will try to keep it straight. First of all, positive attitude always brings more benefits to you and people around you, unlike the negative one. As a former “queen of negativity”, I know how hard it is sometimes to believe in ANYTHING and see at least some light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been there. Everything in front of my eyes were pitch black. Antidepressants helped me and self-confidence/ relationship training. Now I am not howling in pain. I am looking for ways to develop more, but I will tell about it some other time. Right now, I want to say that I am trying to be positive, especially towards other people. It is important to respect others, but never let them to disrespect you. Being nice, should not mean being weak or too soft, and that was one of my biggest challenges. Someone can say “it is easy to be nice to people, when they are nice to you! You are pretty, cheerful girl, from a good family, etc.” Even though it is true, there is always a dark side of the Moon. I’ve been through a lot, and my weak-niceness was a reason to many of my problems. I’ve been raped, I’ve been abused emotionally, I’ve been almost killed on my own couch, I was robbed by a close person, I’ve been betrayed by love of my life, I was watching him getting ready for a date, I was waiting him at night at home, while he was with her, and she… I hated her, because she reached out to him first, and that is only a short list of everything that I had to experience. Anyways, I can that people can be sh*t. I know it very well. But what I realized – that there are still good people, people like me: who hates to lie, hates to hurt others. I realized that some of people are sick and some of them does the right thing, even when it hurts you. What is the result of all this? Of course, I am not naïve, but I still trust people to a degree, I don’t cut them off. Finally, I got strong enough to start saying “no” when I need to, even though I still need to work on it more. As a result, I am friends with my mom’s ex, and she gives me a lot of good advices, takes me out for dinner, even though she hated me at first. I forgave my ex, and we are still dear people to each other. I am friends with her new girlfriend, even though I hated her so much (and she hated me in return), so now I will babysit their kitten, which I am looking forward too. I have friends. After going through so much sh*t, through the pain, I know that each of these people are “on a same wave with me”. They are with me. And nor me, nor they – will not hurt each other anymore. Well, I mean of course it might happen, life is unpredictable, but none of us has anything evil in our mind and that is good. I got new friends and each of them brought something nice in my life. Why not let it to counter some pain that was brought by the same people?  Harm already was caused, but why make even more harm, why bring more negativity into this world? It has enough! I believe that by my attitude I changed some people around me, showing them how it can be done and that peace is possible. I just wish more people would listen and would start to care and trust. That way less people will betray and less people will be too protective to let anyone close. I don’t have many readers, but I wish to create something like a club “positive people”. I don’t know if that name is taken already, that is just a thought. I don’t think anyone will join, but just as a conclusion, from my experience – it is better to make friends, than enemies! Be cautious, respect yourself over anyone else, but stay positive!    

2 thoughts on “Friend is better than foe. Revelation

  1. Your sentiments are beautiful as always, Neakris.

    It’s true that there are people who do not see outside themselves. I confess that though I have lived a selfish life, expecting the world to change for me; through my contact with you, and your writings I am starting to try to truly respect others.

    People are at their core unique, beautiful and terrifying.

    Being able to respect your own unique outlook, your own positivity and your own value enough to say “no” when needed is important.

    Please, do create that group; officially or unofficially, you will have my fellowship.

    Liked by 1 person

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