Night Predator

There are big changes in my life (in a good way, actually!), and my new theme of the blog might be very different from what it is right now. It won't be as dark or depressed and I will try to share this light of hope with others. However, I always liked dark poetry, so time to time I will publish it just for fun :) and so my regular readers won't be too bored! You walk faster and faster. Night surrounds you. Do you call for your pastor? I would be scared too. Feels like you are ready to run. Does fear took over your mind? What is your escaping plan? You hope salvation to find? There is no escape! I am right behind your back. I will make…
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*Knock-knock*

*Knock-knock* on a door. I already know who’s there. Can I take it anymore? Can I hide? But where? *Knock-knock* on my door. I know it won’t go away. Do I have to say “Hello”? Do I have to pay? *Knock-knock* so loud now. I know this is last warning. I need to open, need to bow, I need to take it every morning. I open door with a weak smile. My position is very clear. I will be on fire, My pain is again here...
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Cuts

I was thinking about this topic for a long time and I understand that not many will understand me, but let’s try to talk about it anyways. At 17 years old I discovered that you can cut yourself (glass broke in my hand and cut me. People assumed that I did it on purpose, which was not true). With that I discovered that I liked it in some particular way. It helped me to reduce stress. Pain of cuts was taking away my emotional pain and concerns, making me change focus. It also was a good way to express my pain, show how it really IS, not by words, which can lie. Last year counselor told me that hurting yourself might be also an expression of anger, when you can’t…
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Last Night

The night is like the other universe Last night I drunk, Last night I danced. The night is so reversed From daily strictly funk, And does make no sense. Last night I kissed lips - hers, Last night I kissed lips – his, Last night I got “beaten up”. There was no remorse, It was a bitter bliss. Magic of last night. 😈
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One more day

One more day has started One more cup of tea, Eight more hours at work, Hundred looks at the screen of my phone, But there is nothing. One more dinner, I don’t care what to cook, what to eat. Then writing and squads for the butt -This circle of my regular day, But it is empty. Then shower and bed. What toy shall I use today? What I should wear tomorrow? That’s the only questions now. The hope is lost. I close my eyes, And try to push away my pain. I need to accept that this is my reality now. Will I ever be whole again? And one more day has faded...  
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