Nea Kris

Let the pain flow

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   Greetings to everyone! I appreciate everyone who stops by. Take a look around and see if anything here seems interesting to read or to think about. I share my thoughts, as well as my writing. I am open to conversations or discussions. Only thing I would ask is to be polite. I am not perfect, nor you or anyone else, let’s just accept it.
Last year of my life was very stressful. Seems that in one year happened more crap, than in previous five years. The only thing that I was sure about – my relationship appeared to be a lie, even after a proposal. So over months I had depression, jealousy to another woman, I heard lie again and again. I forgave everything, but after coming back, he left again, this time “for real”. Everything that we built over 6 years just disappeared, and at age of 28, when I was sure in a soon coming wedding, when I wanted to have kids, I was left alone. On top of that I got problems at work, company started to laying off so many people, so everybody was just waiting to see who is going to be next. This betrayal and unfairness hit me very hard, while I always tried to be nice to people, to care about them, and especially care about my significant other to a degree, where I would forget about myself for the sake of him. My depression got only worse, my nerves were wrecked. So many times, I wanted to end my life, so many times I wanted to just stop the pain, because life was so empty and so cruel. He told me that I should find myself without him restraining me, and maybe he was right, but I would never pick by own will to go thru this pain. Either way, I am here and I was not strong enough to end my life. I am a coward, I guess, so now I am trying to find myself again, to find a way to live my life and develop. I always loved to write, so here I am! I write storied, poems, thoughts. I also trying to find ways to fight my depression and help others who is in similar position, as I am. I will be very grateful, if someone will join me on this way. Thank you.
How this works: there will be 3 types of posts, in red (picture or font), blue and black. Red are emotional stuff, so people who doesn’t like drama, broken hearts, etc. might skip those. Blue is more of a thoughts, philosophical or informative. Safe to read! And posts in black are gonna be my writing (story).